Pastor John Gray Praises Therapy, Yet Many Pastors Avoid Professional Mental Health Care
Megachurch pastor John Gray and his wife experienced a turning point in their marriage by embracing both faith and professional therapy. Gray attributes the restoration of his relationship to counseling, a practice he now relies on regularly. However, research indicates that most pastors are reluctant to seek out licensed mental health assistance.
During a recent podcast episode recorded at his Love Story Church in Greenville, South Carolina, Gray revealed that he and his wife now participate in both joint and individual counseling sessions. He emphasized that this ongoing process has been critical in helping him overcome his struggles, which at one point had led him to contemplate suicide.
Reflecting on his personal journey, Gray expressed regret for not seeking professional help sooner. He remarked that while traditional practices in church like laying on of hands carry spiritual significance, they cannot replace the expertise of a qualified psychologist or therapist. “I needed their help then, and I still do,” he admitted.
Despite a clear desire among many pastors to better their mental health, data from a well-known research group shows that nearly one in five U.S. pastors has experienced thoughts of self-harm or suicidal ideation in the past year. Even more striking is that about 65% of pastors opt not to use professional mental health services.
Joe Jensen, a senior vice president at the research organization and former pastor, noted that these findings are not unexpected. He explained that in previous generations, mental health support was rarely discussed in ministry, and that this cultural norm has been passed down over time. He added that the pressures inherent in pastoral roles continue to discourage open dialogue about mental well-being.
Jensen also pointed out that modern social media contributes to this issue by cultivating an environment where pastors feel compelled to showcase only their successes. This tendency to display “highlight reels” hampers their willingness to reveal personal struggles, thereby limiting opportunities for genuine connection and support.
Another layer of difficulty arises from practical obstacles, such as limited financial resources, insufficient insurance coverage, and the absence of dedicated church budgets for mental health care. Bi-vocational pastors, in particular, face significant challenges, with nearly half reporting episodes of distressing thoughts compared to just 12% among full-time clergy.
Emphasizing the urgency of addressing these challenges, Jensen warned that even a small percentage of pastors frequently experiencing distressing thoughts is a crisis that must not be ignored. Each life affected by these struggles underscores the need for a more proactive approach toward mental health support within the church community.
Jensen recommended several measures for churches to adopt in order to better support their leaders. These include fostering a culture that values mentorship, promoting proactive self-care, and ensuring that the spouses of pastors also receive proper support. Such changes could help create a more open and effective framework for dealing with mental health issues.
He also linked the problem to a broader trend within modern Christianity—a shift toward a consumer-driven model that prioritizes appearances over authentic community life. Jensen believes that a return to the comprehensive discipleship practices of the early Church could encourage a more honest and supportive environment, ultimately benefiting pastors, their families, and congregations as a whole.
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