Wounded on the Battlefield
A few weeks ago, I reached a turning point in 2024 when I discovered that I no longer felt the passion for pastoring that I once did. Reflecting on my journey, it wasn’t so much the pressures or stress that led me here, but rather a deep sense of discouragement that slowly crept in.
After years of ministry, the relational wounds became increasingly difficult to bear. Few understand the ache of dedicating oneself to others’ spiritual growth only to experience betrayal or shifting loyalties. Watching close friends and co-workers move away intensified that isolation. Even when we try to help each other grow through honest challenges, too often the response is anger and withdrawal, leaving us to shoulder the blame.
Health Can Aid Healing
Alongside the burdens of ministry, my personal health began to falter. Entering my 50s brought hormonal shifts—lower testosterone, elevated blood pressure, inflammation, muscle loss, and weight gain—that signaled the onset of what experts now refer to as metabolic syndrome. Although my background in health and fitness had once allowed me to maintain a balanced lifestyle, I found that the standards of my youth no longer applied.
Desperate to reclaim my vitality, I attempted to push my physical limits, only to suffer a severe hamstring injury. The setback, combined with rising blood pressure and dwindling energy, made it clear that my outward appearance of fitness was masking deeper internal struggles. Many of us have faced moments when we know the right steps to take for our well-being, yet find ourselves unable to follow through.
The Clock Was Ticking
Each morning, I awoke with little enthusiasm, caught in the relentless rhythm that had governed my life for the past 25 years. I continued my early start—rising between 3 a.m. and 4 a.m. to engage in worship and prayer—yet I felt an overwhelming distance from God, as if my routine had become empty ritual.
Interestingly, despite the inner turmoil, my family life flourished. My marriage and relationships with my children were stronger than ever, and the staff and volunteers around me were deeply dedicated. The disconnect, I realized, was not about those I served but about my own exhaustion and weariness.
One More Major Disappointment
After nearly 15 years of leading a congregation and a quarter-century in ministry, I faced a decisive moment—a kind of midlife reckoning. Amid growing personal and professional challenges was one more crushing setback. For years, I had envisioned a spacious, centrally located church building that could accommodate children, youth, and community fellowship. Yet, it slowly became apparent that the dream I had so fervently pursued might not have aligned with God’s intentions.
This sequence of trials pushed me into a tailspin, forcing me to reassess my calling and the path ahead. Though the journey has been steeped in hardship, each experience provides an opportunity to learn, adapt, and ultimately rediscover purpose.
Rockin’ the faith, one verse at a time!
Growing up, the Bible’s stories deeply impacted me. Now, with over 15 years of preaching experience, I blend timeless teachings with modern technology, making them relevant for today’s world.
Bible Hub Verse is my platform to share historical insights and thought-provoking articles, exploring both familiar and uncommon Christian topics. My passion is building a welcoming online space for everyone to learn, grow in their faith, and discover the Bible’s enduring message.
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